House Call November 2007

Jackie Walden, while cleaning out the upstairs closet, came across a sermon preached in 1981 by the then Interim Vicar Charles L. Taylor on the occasion of his departure from St. Luke's as the new Vicar, Jim McNamee, was called to serve.  The title of his sermon was "The Care and Feeding of Vicars".  After reading this sermon, I was touched by the wise advice Vicar Taylor imparted to the congregation of St. Luke's and, more importantly, how relevant that advice is to us today - twenty five years later.  See if you don't agree!

Blessings and peace,

Jay Munnikhuysen

The Care and Feeding of Vicars

These past eight months have been one of the most wonderful and exciting times in my whole life.  There are no words to express my gratitude for all your love, your caring, your friendship and encouragement during this time.  I have learned things here which have already affected my whole life, and probably cost me one parish where I might have been Rector because I have seen here what the Ministry of the Laity is really like.  I refused to take another parish where the Rector is supposed to do all of the praying, all the studying, and all the "feeding of the flock."  I thank you from the bottom of my heart for saving me from that mistake!

You have been very kind and very patient.  I ask for that same kindness and patience one more time.   This morning I want to share with you a few of my thoughts on the "Care and Feeding of Vicars", knowing that most of you are already prepared to do these things, because you have demonstrated them so well in your care and feeding of me.

I have met your new Vicar.  I am impressed with him.  I know only three things about him:  he is single, he is coming from a very important position in the National Church and he is no stranger to Maryland.  Therefore, I cannot be accused this morning of

"tailoring" - if you will pardon the pun - this sermon for a very special friend or relative.  What I have to say I believe applies to every Rector or Vicar, wherever he may be (1) love him; (2) listen to him; (3) pray for him.

I.  Love Him

Love him - not because he is your vicar, but because he is a human being, a "child of God" just as you are.  Love him because however he may seem remote from your struggles, from the anxiety and the fear of living and working in the competitive job market, he is just as much a part of this work as you are.  He has the same feelings, the same anxieties, the same worries about death and taxes, living and dying, loving and being loved, as you do.  He needs your love just as much as you need his.

Do not be afraid to express that love.  It goes a long, long way beyond saying, "That was a nice sermon, preacher!"  We are going to have an old-fashioned "Pounding Party" for him, but a year from now, will we be as concerned about filling up his cupboard?  Every minister goes through the first few months of being "wined and dined" and then after a year or two, suddenly the invitations dry up.  Many ministers long for the kind of fellowship they had in the homes of their parishioners during those first few months when everyone wanted to get to know him.  The love, the joy, the enthusiasm which you feel now about his coming - continue to express it as time goes on and everyone stops talking about "our new Vicar".

Like you, he is not exempt from tragedy or sorrow.  There are times when he is going to be sick and struggle with guilt because we still condition our Clergy to feel they must always be ready to take care of their "flock", even when their temperature climbs to 104.  Love him enough to allow him to be sick.  Love him enough to allow him to express grief, anger or disgust.  Love him when he is "down" just as much as when he is "up" and let him know that you understand that he is not perfect, just as he understands that you are not perfect.  Love him as you love one another, with the same kind of patience; be willing, when he needs it, to let him have his "space" and his privacy.

Love him enough not to be afraid to call upon him when you need him, because you think he is too busy or has too much to on his mind to be concerned with your "petty" problems and troubles.  He will know then that he can turn to you when life gets to be too much for him and he needs a friend.

II. Listen to Him

Love him . . . and listen to him!  Hear him out!  Give time and thought to his ideas.  Sometimes he will be wrong, but then again, there are times when he will be right.  You don't always have to agree with him.  You don't always have to like what he says, or the way he says it, but he deserves a chance.  If you think he is "off base", ask him to go over it again.  Perhaps you missed something the first time.  Every Vestry and Advisory Board advertises for a Rector or Vicar who will provide leadership, but my experience has taught me that very few of these Vestries or Advisory Boards really want to follow that leadership.  

Many years ago, when I left St. James', South Groveland, where I had been Student-In-Charge for two years, my successor, Bruce Noyes, got the parish to contract with an Interior Decorator for a badly-needed interior painting job on the Church.  Bruce very wisely got the Vestry to agree to allow the decorator to choose the colors.  When the paining started, the Vestry was up in arms.  It was horrible!  Bruce stuck to his guns and reminded the Vestry of their contract.  When it was finished, it was so beautiful that people came from miles away to see it!

If the new Vicar proposed a program, give him a chance to finish it before tearing it apart.  He has been hired, not for his charm or his smile, but for his knowledge and his experience.  Give him time to put his ideas into practice.  Give him time to develop a program and learn which people can be depended upon to make it work.

One last thought along with these lines:  when he is right, when something works, let him know about it.  Often, the only time when Clergy really know how people feel is when they are angry or upset.  He needs s to know you appreciate his work.  He needs to know that you understand what he is trying to do.  No need for lavish praise, but one "good job, Vicar!" will often keep a priest going for weeks!

III. Pray for Him

Pray for him?  Of course you'll pray for him, but I am talking about something else besides an occasional prayer when he is in trouble or when he has been particularly helpful to you.  Pray for him every day.  Pray for him because you love him, because he needs your prayers just as you need his.  Pray for him because regardless of the size of the parish, his is a particularly lonely and fearful job.  Every priest knows that God has given him, for whatever reasons, the care of the souls in his parish, and he wonders over and over again if he is really doing what God wants him to do.  Doctors can bury their mistakes, Lawyers see their mistakes sent to jail, but a priest knows that when he loses a soul, it is for all eternity.  It is not easy to live with that and take care of all your other human needs.

Pray for him because he struggles, just as you do, with all the problems of life.  He searches for God, just as you do, and is sometimes discouraged and lonely because God seems very far away and remote, just when we feel we need him most.

Pray for him, because at this time and in this place you and he are bound up together in a relationship that truly goes beyond human knowledge.  You need him, but he also needs you, and without your prayers, his job is going to be very difficult and frustrating indeed. 

Conclusion

Love him.  Listen to him.  Pray for him.  I know you will do these things for Father Jim because you have done them for me.  I congratulate you for having survived this long Interim and for your excellent choice of a full-time Vicar.  I thank you for your love during these past eight months and for the many things which you have taught me.  I look forward with great anticipation to the time when your Vicar-elect becomes your Rector-elect, and to sharing that proud moment with you.  God bless you all!

Recognition and appreciation for Dave Forslind's work as Treasurer was acknowledged.  Fr. John and Jay Munnikhuysen, Sr. Warden, are continuing to review how the Treasurer's job can be broken down among two or more people.

The Stewardship presentation at the Adult Forum on October 21st  is still scheduled.  Stewardship of time and talents will be included in the presentation.  Dianne Crews is coordinating this with our Stewardship Chairman, Yvette Munnikhuysen.

The Sr. Warden informed the Vestry of a Planned Giving Seminar November 10th,  9 am to noon at St. Thomas Church in Towson.

The Vestry will "retreat" on November 3rd to assess and analyze the congregation survey results.

November 4th is the date for an Adult Forum organized by the Property and Negotiation Committees to update the congregation on where St. Luke's is with regard to options to accommodate our growth.

Shannon Talbott informed the Vestry that we were able to donate $55.00 to the SPCA as a result of sales from the bake table at the "Blessing of the Animals" service on October 7th.

Positive feedback resulted from the October Family Service, our first.   David Dent is in charge of the 2nd Family Service on November 4th; a third Family Service is planned for early December.

Newcomer brochures will be ready for Vestry review at the November meeting, Shannon Talbott reported.

There was discussion on the positive benefits of the October  14th Vestry meeting with The Rev. Canon Mary Glasspool. 

In attendance:  David Dent, Jay Munnikhuysen, Shannon Talbott, Dawn Moorehead, Sue Riley, Peter Gavian, Dianne Crews, Bill Jabine, Helen Leitch, and Fr. John.

Operations - Ordinary Income & Expense  

Total ordinary (recurring, budgeted) income is $8,000 under budget through September when prorating the year by days (75%).  The major cause is pledge payments $12,000 behind and continuing their trend of previous months.

Other income sources reduce the $12,000 pledge shortfall to the total $8,000.

Thrift Shop receipts, behind in recent months, are now caught up.

The October spaghetti dinner netted $654 after submitted expenses.  When added to the $591 profit from May and the $660 from the Jewelry and Fashion show, the church has raised $1,900 towards its goal of $2,500 revenue from unbudgeted events for the year through October 2.

Total ordinary operating expenses remain encouragingly in the range of $3,000 under budget for the nine months.

A complete monthly financial statement is available from the office.

Sue Riley

Lay Ministry Schedule for November 2007